It can be challenging to support your own partner. Sometimes you feel sidetracked as a partner during birth, but your role as a partner is crucial. What can you do before the big moment arrives? Here are some tips.

Tips regarding birth:

• Prepare for birth. For example, read a book about it, visit the website welcometomankind.nl, and view our courses.
• Put the phone numbers you need to call in your phone. Think of our service number and maternity care.
• During birth, you are the most important person for your wife.
• Don't feel left out or rejected as a partner.
• Avoid feeling weak during birth; don't forget to eat and drink regularly.
• Partners sometimes feel they need to do something about their wives' pain. This can make you feel like you can't help, but by being present, coaching your wife, sighing (giving rhythm), or massaging her back, you help enormously. You are her personal coach!
• It is also possible that your wife prefers not to be touched too much. This is not your fault.
• Show understanding if your partner behaves differently
• There may be times when no one can do anything right. Just let it wash over you.
• Most women giving birth shut themselves off from their surroundings to concentrate. This is normal. You don't have to be alarmed by this.
• Ask regularly if you can do something for her, but don't do this during a contraction.
• It is helpful if you have read or driven the route to the hospital in advance.
• Help the midwife if possible. It is lovely if someone helps you tote things, especially if there are many stairs.
• Make arrangements about the time and moments of taking photos and ensure there is a camera nearby.Sometime after the birth, take the time to discuss the whole delivery with your partner. You can complement each other so that the picture of the entire birth becomes complete.

Other tips

• The first days after birth are also very tiring for you, so it is not at all crazy to take an afternoon nap with your wife. This is good because you are tired and spending a few hours together is lovely.
• During the maternity days, visitors often overrun you, all very nice and sweet. Still, you hardly have time for each other and for each other's emotions. Be alert to too many or too long visitors. No one will be surprised by this.
• Don't feel on the sidelines after birth; you can do so much more: wash your baby, cuddle, dress, change, play, comfort, carry with you (in a sling), and help your partner with the feedings during the first few days.

Do not forget

• Phone/camera (make sure there is enough memory and a charged battery!);
• Something to eat;
• Drive carefully;
• That you may enter the hospital grounds by car. Ring the bell at the barrier.
• Bring €1 or €2 coins in case a wheelchair is needed;
• Take the stuff inside. The maxi cosi can still stay in the car;
• You are expected and welcome.

In conclusion
It is important to realize that it can be challenging for you to assist your wife during birth. You must watch while your wife is in pain and can't take over yourself! The feeling of impotence, the tension of whether everything will go well, and the fact that you will soon be able to hold your own child make childbirth a poignant and emotional event. Yet many women expect their partners to remain calm and reassuring throughout labor. Is this fair? Discuss how you view birth and what you expect from each other. This way, you can avoid any future disappointments.